A Builder of Babel

I want to tell a story of wrong choices
against God’s warnings
If I didn’t know what I now know, I probably would
Make the same choices.
Remember the consequences, I’d tell myself. If I knew
my plans would never coincide with God’s
I would have stopped at the silence
And wouldn’t plead any further.
I’m tired of guessing.
I am tired of being tired.
and one would say
it is because I do not put God on my agenda.
One would say I speak of him. But so what does that do.
One says I have schemes but not a plot.
if they’re right
to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
then I am afraid I am his best stand up comic.
How does one know? How does one find out what’s in the plan.
I don’t want to waste my time.
if I don’t know yet at forty-seven,
Will I know at forty-eight?
Am I just going to watch people flourish while I become stale?
I want to get up there
without having to build the tower of Babel
which would stop production
the minute I start speaking.