AKA Thomas

The priest says that God did not consult him
If He could bring him to life; He just went ahead and gave him
the gift.
The gift.
More often these days
I fail to see life as a gift
When I have no money to pay
For this or that
When I sin and I don’t mean to
And I’m afraid of the consequences
And I cry because I did not ask for
the gift.
I was not consulted.
I don’t appreciate the gift.
If I never had the gift, I wouldn’t know
What I’d be missing in the first place.
Some days I do laugh because I find things to laugh about despite
the gift.
After I’ve laughed , the next minute
I am made to feel I shouldn’t have laughed
Because sorrow is much deeper
After laughter
But the priest says
Jesus died for me
And He didn’t have to consult me
If He could.
I don’t know
how He could care for me so much
When I keep doubting Him.